Friday, February 5, 2010

Incoherent ramblings

I am going to attempt to blog, my mind has been all over

the place, yet I'm over tired. It's a strange thing about me. I've actually been super tired but up all night quite a few times. Unfortunately, I think the medication I take at night makes me extremely tired, but, for whatever reason, I'm wired otherwise. I swear, the only time I'm really sleeping well is when the alarm finally goes off. I have fallen asleep with an hour left before the alarm goes off too many times to count. Even when I don't get any more sleep after that, when I end up being awake too late doing other things, I will sometimes repeat the cycle.

Anyway. I have been having the painful tingling, numbness, shooting pains, etc in my left thigh. I had experienced it for a while about 5 or so years ago so I wasn't too worried about it. I finally looked it up tonight and it is either a (messed up) disc in my lower back, or diabetes. That seems to be the general consensus on the internet. Great. So, it could be either of the issues I've been trying to take care of. What are the odds? I guess it's a good thing that it's not yet another condition! The pain in my feet has been a faithful friend to me for quite some time now, the pain in my left thigh has become an unwelcome addition to the "faithful friends" club. I had thought there was more of an issue with the right side of my back because it is harder to lift my right leg, etc when my back is causing excruciating pain. Thankfully, the excruciating back pain has been gone for a while, as long as I sleep in my chair on heat. I can always feel that there is pain there, but, it's not even worth mentioning. I try to move a lot, I make sure to get some form of exercise daily, though I have not done any exercise programs or just walked around my neighborhood. Though I have done a lot of walking in climate controlled environments. LOL I have learned that movement is another factor in improving the back issues. I just find it odd that the thigh thing is happening now. I'm back on my diabetes meds and I'm sleeping in a recliner, other things are improving. Why now?

I've had an emotion packed few days, and I feel overloaded in a lot of ways. I have been getting things accomplished but I give myself downtime to be on the computer doing random things at night, in hopes that it will relax and calm me enough to get a good night's rest. I finished a book yesterday, I read for that purpose as well. Well, I LOVE reading, but, I make a point of allowing myself the luxury. I'm hoping that I am able to sleep as long as I want to in the morning and that I'll get enough sleep tonight. Lately, on days the God forsaken alarm doesn't wake me, my bladder wakes me up before I'm ready to get up, then I end up staying up because my dogs have to go out, etc.

All that being said, things are going really well. There's good and bad, like with anyone's life. But, I am happy, and I am blessed in more ways than I can count. I have a lot of things to change and do, that's for sure. There are definitely some things I wish I could change about things. But, I know I am very blessed with a wonderful family, the greatest friends, the many luxuries and privileges that make up my home, my health (it's not all bad), mobility, and I'm sure I'm leaving many things out.

I am going to attempt a good nights rest now. I hope everyone is doing well.
Ms X

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