You know, I know a lot of people complain about their mother-in-law, I get that. However, I really do think my situation is unique. I swear it is! Let me give some examples.
A little while ago she was doing the loud obnoxious throat clearing hocker spitting thing into my kitchen trash. My. Kitchen. trash. Ok? For the record, the woman does that fairly often in various locations where she can spit. Oh. MY. GOD. Sorry to be gross. So, shortly after that I was coughing really hard. Because I had said "ooh gross" to her display of nastiness, she decided to say "ooh gross" to me. Really? Is it even the same thing??? No. No it is not.
Example number 2. Speaking of nasty. I have had to tell her on mutliple occasions to bathe. Yes, bathe. The thing normal people do at least once a day? She goes for weeks. Weeks. One day I finally broke down and told her she needed to bathe. She didn't. The next day she spent all day tearing her room apart (yes, she lives with us) only to find that the smell she was trying to find in her room was her. Disgusting. Sadly, I have had to tell her since then to bathe too. She has also had robes she wears over and over and hangs on the bathroom door that made me gag. I'm sorry, there is just no exuse at all for nastiness.
Example number 3. She's trying to go to school. She is not even a little bit bright. I'm not trying to be mean, I'm not, but the woman is very ...not smart. So, she is all about going to school. She tries to do EVERYTHING my husband, her son, does. He and I have been going to school for quite some time. Naturally, she has to go too. So, she tried to go online and within a few days she quit and was starting over this month. Within two days she couldn't do it online so she had to go to campus to do it. So, yesterday she was gone all day and night going to school on campus. She has to go back tomorrow and will be taking a placement test. The whole thing is such. a. joke.
Example number 4. One day she said that God was going to buy her the house next door. This is only an example of the things she says all the time. She picks and chooses scriptures and other things out of the Bible and makes them what she wants them to be. Let's just ignore scriptures that say "a lazy man will not eat" and go on to the ones that say "God will provide all your needs". All righty then. This was actually a long drawn out thing on the day she said God would buy her the house. It is way more in depth than I'm saying, but was extremely ridiculous.
Example number 5. Food. Since the food issue is such a long in depth one with her, I will only give 5 examples. She has always lied about food, though she "doesn't lie". She will sneak food, hoard food, you name it. She will eat something, then go "oh, you bought (name item here) can I have some?" Even though she already helped herself to some before asking, and now wants more. If someone makes something sweet she gets all excited, reacts like a child, and goes "num num num" and all kins of other noises. She has HUGE portions of EVERYTHING. She also adds to EVERYTHING no matter what it is and whether or not she's even had a taste of it. I have even told her that it's insulting to the cook (me). She herself cannot cook or bake. There are very few things she's made through the years that anyone has liked. She has rarely cooked since she's been here, and I'm ok with that. She recently went on a special "fast" and could only eat certain foods. I tried to tell her that she was nuking it and according to her fast just needed to eat fruits and vegetables and didn't need to go out and buy tons of special stuff. So, after talking to her and she was all gung ho over it, (which never lasts) I went and got a bunch of fresh fruits and veggies she'd mentioned. I got all the groceries with several things she'd asked for. I come home, cook dinner and she makes herself a salad. I find out later that she ate dinner too that night. The next day she ate what I cooked again (when I was out of the room). So, the next day I asked why she wasn't doing her fast and she made some excuse about it. So, then she was doing her fast for about a week. If she was sneaking anything, nobody saw her do it. Then she came home with chips and ramen noodles and said that God told her she can have those on her fast. um. ok. Long story short, she went off the fast officially because God told her to. So, I got chinese food for my husband and son and got her some too. As usual she didn't thank me, God forbid. As usual she complained. She said that she only eats fried rice because it's healthier than white rice. Um. what? I said "the yellow rice is white rice with a bunch of crap thrown in and then it's FRIED" She said, no, it's corn. (??) So, I looked up a bunch of white rice recipes that night and told her my findings. She said "I always thought it was healthier and was something else because it's yellow". I said "Why do you state so many things as fact when you've never done any research on them?" But, it's pointless. She forgets everything from one minute to the next. The sad thing is...I could go on with different things she does for HOURS. I am going insane.
Thanks for letting me vent a little