Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Amazing weather, snoring dogs, and black parades

Hello all! How have you been?? I am here! I haven't been getting alone time in my room lately because hubby's schedule changed and I've been really busy most of the time, so, I hang out doing homework and stuff in the office with him and the kids. I am re-taking that math class and this time I am attacking the class head on. I am in the beginning of week 2 and I've done far better than last time. I'm busting my butt like I should have the last time. I had A LOT going on but I sure am regretting not forcing myself to bust my butt last time. What a waste of money this is! Add that to the list of many stupid things I've done.

For a while I was wondering about my sanity, my intelligence, and many other things about myself. I am still coming out of it all. Hubby said earlier that he never realized that I rarely smiled until he's seen me smile a lot more often recently. I've been making a point of being goofy, happy, etc to bring myself under the dark depression I've been in.

I got a job I start Friday, the paid training starts Thursday. I am very nervous. I am praying, a lot. My physical limitations cannot be limitations anymore. I'm perfectly competent in every way, except the damage I've done to my body.

Oh, I went on insulin too. It's going ok. I have a nurse from my insurance company, a nurse from the pharmacy and my own doctor who all call me about my diabetes management. I had all of them telling me different things in the same day the other day. Ugh. The insulin smells SO mediciney. I keep getting bruises from the shots too. Earlier I even bled after I gave it to myself. I gave myself shots all the time using the exact same type of needles and I didn't bruise and bleed. I don't know what this is all about. I'm feeling pretty decent though I'm pretty exhausted every day now. At least I'm not up all hours of the night anymore. Which is another reason I've not blogged much lately.

Things have been very bad in a lot of ways lately, but I'm trying to do everything within my own power to make them better. I'm also trying to remember to listen to music more, as odd as that sounds, it always lifts my spirits. I'm currently listening to Black Parade, love that song! I have a very wide expansion of musical interests. (I have no idea if I'm even making sense right now). I just listened to a bunch of Brad Paisley, listened to Queen, songs from Les Miserables, Bon Jovi. That's only a small example of my musical interests, lol. Now "Lay Your Hands on Me" is playing and every time I hear it I remember the excitement of the concert back in 1989. The concert began with that song and it was SO exciting for me! Yep. Music makes me feel good. Apparently my younger two children need to be schooled on 80s hair bands and classic rock.

I'm rambling, what else is new? Oh, my dog snores. A lot. He is also so excited about the "Don't ask Don't tell" being dropped that he won't leave my other male dog alone. Even my animals have issues. Lots of them!

Have a great day everyone!

1 comment:

  1. You sure that's insulin you're shooting up??? hehe

    Good to see you trying to shift the blues. It sure isn't easy sometimes.

    Yay on the job. Hope it goes really well for you!!!