What is that??

Hello! I was sitting here minding my own business on the computer and kept feeling a hair moving around on my face. There were a few other times today I had felt it. I kept trying to move the hair and finally determined that the hair was growing OUT of my face. I immediately became determined to get the hair out of my face as quickly as possible. Of course, when there is a facial hair emergency...the tweezers run and hide. Once I had the tweezers I pulled out the 1/2" long hair and was even more disturbed to see that half of it was white. So, not only did I somehow manage to have a long hair growing out of my face that blew in the wind...I'm so old that it was part white! Now, my question is this, HOW did I miss the hair before? How is it that I get waxed, I pluck, I stare at my face...yet I will suddenly notice a long hair blowing in the wind? I had another spot on my face that every once in a while I'd have a flowing long hair coming out of it. Somehow, that hair would be even longer. I am so disturbed right now. How does this happen?? I had the same face yesterday..and the day before...I look at it, I wash it. It really is a mystery. On that note...I always had very thick hair on my head that grew like a weed. Ok....fine...I had/have hair in other places that grows a lot too. Like my face. Anyway...I pull out hair in clumps...daily. I am really beginning to freak out over this. My hair is no longer thick like it used to be. I have a lot of hair, and it's long. (though I would prefer to have a "butch" haircut) but it is much thinner than it used to be, much. It's kinda freaking me out...I thought about getting that shampoo that makes your hair grow in thicker but when I wash my hair it would just go down my back and make me have flowing thick back and butt hair. sigh.
I just wanted to share. :)
Ms X

It's been a while!

It's been a while! I've been contemplating getting rid of this blog completely. Then, I've also considered re-vamping it. My posts have been very gloomy and doomy and I'm not a gloomy doomy person. So. I'm still not sure what I'm doing! As for weight loss and health issues, those will be topics of interest to me for a VERY long time. They'll always be a topic, health is important. Even when I am eventually being hailed as a goddess on a tropical island, I will still be concerned about health. However, there is a lot more that I think about than that. I love my family, they are actually first in my life. I have a lot of people that are very important to me. I know that GOD should be first, and hasn't been. That's a whole other subject. I still love books. I graduate in December (if all goes well!) with my bachelor's in Psychology. I will be spending the next few months doing lots of math, statistics, etc. I have an interest in a lot of things such as gardening, crafts, etc. Not that I am currently doing any of those things. I LOVE cooking and baking. That includes healthy cooking and baking. I am interested in Raw stuff. I am interested in juicing. I am very well rounded in my cooking/baking interests. I follow a lot of blogs and have made many successful recipes from several of the blogs I follow.

What's been going on? I've been sick off and on. Hubby has been sick off and on and had a minor surgery. My oldest daughter's friend wrecked her car, so, she is without one again. Now my daughter doesn't live very close to us and doesn't have a car either. My younger two have become house hermits during the summer. They run screaming from sunlight. Ok, they're not that bad. At least the girl child isn't. My mother-in-law. How often have I mentioned her? She lives here. I could write a book about it. There just aren't enough words to describe the experience that is my mother-in-law. Work? Haven't done much of that this summer. I wanted the summer off to enjoy summer and enjoy my children. Also to get projects done. Wow..running out of time on all of that, aren't I? My weight has gone up and down 20 pounds for a while now. It's at the lower end but I am ready to go below that! I haven't been lower than where I am now in a LONG time.

Anyway!! Blah blah blah, right? I love all the witty funny blogs with lots of pictures and funny stories. I'm "anonymous" and a few people I know have access, nobody else that knows me does. So, I managed to make things complicated for my blog, huh? I initially was going to write what I was thinking and feeling but that isn't always the case anyway. It's not completely anonymous. I've been thinking of doing a different blog, one that I can let anyone see. But, what are the odds of THIS..two of my sisters have separately asked my opinion on what THEY should do for a blog this week. But of course! So, if I do do a blog that I share with people I know...the timing really sucks for that too. So, I could re-vamp this one and make it more fun, etc. I could check in every now and then and update, or, I could make another one completely. I know I have a few faithful followers, and I thank those of you who are, it means a lot to me! I'd love to know what everyone thinks. So, what does everyone think?
Thanks!
Ms X

It's true...being fat will eventually kill you!!!!

How's the for an attention grabber? You know what, I don't want to die. I should have realized this a long time ago. I am up most nights in a lot of pain. I have diabetic neuropathy in my feet, it is now in my lower legs too. For anyone who has not experienced this sensation, be glad! My feet are constantly sensitive, almost constantly in a lot of pain, they tingle, they burn, they have sharp jolts of pain going through them, all at the same time! The jolts of pain, fortunately, are more at night. I take a ton of meds for various things in the evening and just wait for them to kick in so the pain is dulled and I can sleep. Last night I resorted to going barefoot and changing the blanket on my stool that I sleep with my feet on. What the heck does it take for me to wake up and DO what I need to DO? I was (long distance) with a friend who is like a sister to me all through her ordeal before her husband succumbed to diabetes complications and passed away at 39. This was about 4 years ago. What is WRONG with me? It was hell when my mom died in June. I suffer EVERY day with a lot of pain. I have severe neuropain, back pain, (I can only sleep in a recliner, every once in a while I'll sleep a few hours in my bed because my other pain is so much, but I pay later!), I sleep with a cpap machine. I have been carrying around 300 extra pounds for several years now. When I walk things pop and crackle. My knees are bad, though they aren't flaring every day. My hip has issues. I have a lot of sciatic pain from my back problems in my thighs and, oddly enough, my butt cheeks. Or is it odd? Maybe that's "normal". I'm pretty sure that a normal person couldn't carry 300 lbs on their back at all, let alone ALWAYS. Now, add that to all of my aches and pains. Oh, I now have tendonitis in my right arm, it's been flaring for about a month. I go through times where my wrists hurt, especially my left one. I have dark patches of skin on my neck that are very visible. I have a lot of nasty skin tags. My skin is a mess, it's just unhealthy. I have really heavy painful periods. Sadly, I think I'm leaving things out here too.

I could go on for hours about the many things that got me here. What it boils down to is that I got myself here and I have to get myself out. I read an article earlier about someone who was stuck to a chair, not my first time reading of such a thing. The families of these people keep feeding them, even though they can't/don't even get up to use the bathroom or clean themselves. These people have their skin melded to the chair/toilet or whatever they're stuck to. I saw an episode of something on tv once where a man was put in a hospital and lost a bunch of weight. At home with his wife he was really moody and nasty and miserable and wanted his food again. The list goes on and on. I think of last year when I spent months barely able to move. Pure stubbornness over not wanting to go to the bathroom on myself was often my only motivation because my back was screaming in pain. There was another weekend a few months ago where I was down hard. One time my husband tried to help me up and I started screaming and shrieking because my back seized up. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? How can I go through all of this and still not eat healthy and exercise? I have a family that I love and adore, I have wonderful friends that I adore. I want to LIVE. Really live! I want to be here for them. I started this blog a long time ago, and in all this time my health has only gotten worse. The ONLY good thing I can say is that my weight is not where it was at its highest. That's the only good thing I can say. I need all of the prayers and support I can get.
Thanks
I'll be back.
Ms X

Hi!

Hi! How is everyone doing? I haven't blogged in a while. It amazes me how much things have changed in the past year. Though it's just after midnight, I can now say that it's been 9 months today since my mom passed.

I don't remember what I've blogged about so some of this might be a repeat. Just about a year ago my mother-in-law moved in. A year ago the daycare was almost finished being built. I won't get into the daycare stuff here but it's been one heck of a year with just that subject alone. Last spring, my oldest daughter had a car accident and miraculously didn't hurt herself or anyone else, thank God. Not long after that my mother went into the hospital for surgery, after several weeks in the hospital, she died a week before my birthday, and 5 days after my oldest graduated high school. All she wanted was for mom to be here for her graduation, it was a bittersweet day when she graduated. My birthday, for the record, sucked. A lot. The year prior all I wanted for my birthday was for my mom to be here. Little did I know it would be the last time I ever saw her again. I didn't take a single picture of her and I together either, I have rarely done that my whole adult life. I have found only 3, and 2 of them are from far away with others in the picture. I won't make that mistake with anyone else. Sadly, on my birthday that last time she was here I had pictures taken with myself and each of my kids and hubby but she was closer to the castle (in a rider thing) and my son was with her while we sat further away. So, I didn't have our pics taken. I'm off on a tangent again. Sorry. So, anyway. My oldest started college in the fall, that made 3 of us in college at the same time. My other two started their last year in middle school and elementary school. Wow!
Then, my oldest announced that she had a girlfriend. Fast forward. Oldest and girlfriend are now living together in an apartment. I was surprised I never got sad and teary and stuff over her moving out. I would just go on another tangent if I started getting into all of that.
So, currently we are moving things around in our house again and doing some major spring cleaning. It feels good to get these things done. I am on a mini break between classes too. I may even take a few days off work during my kid's spring break. I may be seeing a cousin after 20+ years when she comes this way this month. I may even see my brother and his wife, which would be great.
I've been trying to get into all of the specialists my doctor sends me to, as best as I can. Some of them are just irritating me. I don't want to go to a specialist for every little thing. I am going to actually sign up for and go to the pool I found out is by my work, I'm looking forward to that.
Well, enough for now. I hope everyone is well. What is everyone else up to this spring?
Ms X

I'm alive!

Hi! It's sad that I spend several minutes trying to decide which color and font I'll use. I probably shouldn't be allowed near a computer right now, considering my mind isn't functioning at its best. But, here I am! I've been down pretty hard for 5 days now with the flu. Now I see why people get vaccinated against this. Hubby had it two weeks ago and was down super mega hard for about 3 days. I also have a UTI and an infection in my finger. I've only heard of this finger infection thing one time before, when someone was hospitalized for it. I thought it was a spider bite, apparently it is common to think that. So, yeah, it basically has felt like my thumb is broken and it's swollen. It's better today than it was. I bumped it earlier and THAT hurt! It's really weird how things can happen to us and how much one little thing can affect us. So, while I have the flu and two infections I have to watch my blood sugar to make sure it doesn't get too high. Healing doesn't happen when it's high. So, all of this while still dealing with chronic pain too makes me down pretty hard. I'm ready to be better, and yes, I'll take my vitamins!
I was just looking at random pics and thought I'd post a few. I posted a pic of our new firepit, we've used it twice and I LOVE it. Hubby called my a pryo. So, maybe I liked big flames just a little. The bear, well, he was the last one in the store and was half price. He wanted me to take him home and I didn't. Wasn't he cute??
Anyway, it's a shame I've had all of this down time but got nothing accomplished, my mind isn't functioning properly..ask my husband! Just getting up to make sure my family isn't starving or pushing flu preventative pills on them wears me out. On a good note, since I haven't made it to the store, we are going through our freezers and using up things we've needed to use up. Sad, but true. I've looked at several people's blogs and have found some I really like. They do some awesome things and save money, make great food, etc. I've been thinking about planting a garden. I'm just not sure where to start. Our soil isn't the greatest. I'd love the satisfaction that comes from growing my own produce. I grew up helping in our gardens when I was living with my dad, so I know how much work goes into it and what I would need to do. I need to start deciding quickly what I want to do and how I want to do it.
Meanwhile, I've enjoyed work lately. I love the children and my co-workers. I miss them since I've been sick. Thinking about actually doing weight watchers, but not where I pay and go, just where I'm doing the plan along with my co-workers. They have been completely denying themselves anything yummy. I've learned the hard way that complete deprivation doesn't work for me. My middle child has kept me very busy. Between her cheerleading, band and now basketball too...she keeps me busy running around and spending money on her! The oldest and youngest each have their own problems too. The youngest is having a hard time in school right now I am just learning. I need to get healthy and get myself back to work so I have much needed money for bills. I need to stay healthy for my family!
I know my blog is rather boring, which is weird because I'm usually a goofball. Anyway, I hope everyone is staying healthy.
Ms X

When to say "no" to getting your blood drawn

A friend was telling me about these horrible shots she gets in her thumbs last night, it sounds like pure torture. The experience makes the grown men with her pass out, and/or throw up. It had me thinking about a recent experience I had getting my blood drawn, which made me think about an experience I had many years ago getting my blood drawn. (Though neither experience remotely compares to her shots).

Many years ago I went to the hospital with my mother-in-law. When we got to go back with the nurse, my mother-in-law rudely informed the nurse that she was saying my name wrong. I immediately defended the nurse and apologized for my mother-in-law's rude behavior. (I also took the opportunity to remind the woman that this was NOT my actual mother) My mother-in-law continued to be rude and I continued to apologize for her, ask her to stop, and tried to smooth things over with the nurse. Later, when the nurse had to take my blood, I said "Can't you just take hers please?" (referring to my mother-in-law) and the nurse said "I'd LOVE to". So, never be rude to someone who may be poking you with a needle later.

A few weeks ago I had to have blood work done. I don't know where my brain was that day, because all of the signs were there that I should NOT allow the woman to take blood from me. Our interaction pretty much went like this...
"I only get one chance, I only get one chance" said the lady as she poked around painfully on my arm with her fingernails.
"They never have problems taking my blood, they say I have juicy veins" I innocently stated.
"one chance is all I get, one chance, then I have to give you to someone else" states the now psychotic lady.
So..this went on for a while. She was actually hurting me with her poking and prodding on my arm. She repeated her mantra over and over. How could I have been too stupid to say "GET SOMEONE ELSE"?? So, when she did finally take out her butcher knife and bludgeon it into my arm repeatedly (ok, I'm exaggerating at this point), it hurt! I was actually breathless at this point. She wandered off to find someone else. The new lady came over, recognized me from previous visits, and said "Oh, you're easy to get blood from". I looked at her pleadingly and tried to tell her via eye contact that the other lady was the devil. The other lady lurked over us and refused to leave. The new lady took blood from my remaining arm and I didn't feel a thing!

So, if you are ever having blood drawn, if the person shows signs of not knowing how to do it....get someone else!!! If you are with someone who is incredibly rude....do your best to side with the future blood taker!

That's my lesson for the morning.
Ms X

I've been bad.

It's true. I've been very naughty. Let me explain. First of all, I broke my phone. I really did! I'd been admiring the droids, really wanting to have one of my own. I admit, the kindle application was one of the features that most appealed to me. Though there were many things that appealed to me about it. So, I broke down and got one this weekend, because I needed a working phone, why not get the one I want? Consider it my Christmas gift to myself. I desperately tried to get the "2nd one free" for hubby. I tried and tried, they just couldn't do it. He's not eligible for an upgrade for several months. He now has serious "phone envy" and has been sulking. A lot. I'm not allowed to talk about my phone or be excited about it, due to his phone envy. So, anyway. You know my unnatural relationship with my I-pod touch? I think I'm over it now. Yes, really! I now have a disturbing relationship with my droid. I like to look at it. I like to touch it. I have it with me everywhere I go. In my truck I have a special "pedestal" for it that it charges in and I can talk on it via speaker while it sits there. I can even play music on it while it sits in its little pedestal. I think I've developed tourettes syndrome. I randomly make strange noises when I think about it or look at it. I blurt out things when I get excited. I'm pretty sure what has developed here is even more unhealthy than my previous relationship with my I-pod. Even though my son has been on my I-pod almost constantly, either reading or playing games. I know it's mad at me for leaving it behind and betraying it. I feel guilty. Then I look at my droid and feel all warm and fuzzy inside. As I type, my droid is sitting comfortably on my chest, warm and cozy. I have considered taking up knitting so I can make it little clothes. I think I'll attach special pockets to everything I wear. Yes, I am aware that I am not right in the head. I'm reminded of this daily by those who love me most. I'm ok with that. I get excited every time I get on my droid and learn new things about how to use it. I like taking it for rides in the car. I'm keeping the existence of my beloved droid a secret from most people, even members of my house. This is making my relationship even more awkward and difficult. I think it will survive, I really love it.
Ms X