Perhaps a more appropriate title for my post would be..tired of kicking and screaming. i am still hanging in there, but it is really hard. I did decide to start eating some foods sometimes for the sake of not murdering and eating my loved ones. Ok, so, maybe I wouldn't eat them, but I was a raging psychopath. Even more so than usual.
Mother in law is, in fact, moving back in. Tomorrow. It's a long stressful story. It ultimately ended up being my decision to let her come back. She was as much of a mess as she was when she first came to stay. She was distraught and crying, bawling really. She said she had no place to go. She'd realized that she couldn't afford to get her own place and that this really wasn't such a bad place after all. I was ready for her to be out. I also knew that if she moved out, she would end up right back where she was before. Nothing in me wanted her to be back. But, I couldn't do it. I couldn't have her sitting there raw and open just bawling her eyes out and desperate. So, I guess her coming back right before school starts is better than after we'd gotten acclimated to our new schedules. I am not looking forward to this at all, but, it is what it is.
I've been missing my mom so much, yet I've been trying hard not to think about it. Yesterday was the 14 month mark. I have wanted and needed her SOOOO much lately. Every time I turn a corner, something reminds me of her. I'd been looking forward to talking to my sister about stuff, the one that "cut me off" a few years ago for things I didn't do. Well, I've done something again. I was playing games with her and ignoring her online. (no, actually, I didn't do ANY of this..this is what I was accused of) In fact, I'd been anxious to talk to her and was keeping my chats and stuff up in case she came on. I missed her and that just turned into a whole big fiasco. I tried to write back and tell her that I wasn't really there. Why do I do this to myself?? One of my sisters isn't really too high maintenance, though the other two feel that she is the root of all evil and the root of all their problems. The other two though, wow. They are REALLY high maintenance. If you say or do one thing wrong they will "cut you off". My God my family is screwed up. Then there is my brother. I was so glad that he happened to be living with my mom during her last few months. He was a good son and she adored him (during those last few months). In previous years he would avoid her for months or years at a time, even though they lived in the same town. He often sucked as a son through the years. Mom died knowing that the two of us loved and adored her. He was such a good brother to me during that time. There was one time where he was drunk and freaked out on me, but, he was crying and apologetic when I called back. Even after mom died he and I got along great. We really got each other. We were always on the same page. Then when I let him know that mom's boyfriend died, I didn't get any contact from him for months. He died in April I think, it is now August and the only contact I've had from my brother was on the anniversary of mom's death. I texted him and he actually responded. So, yeah. I could go on for days, the point is. We are all messed up. A lot. My brother and I have a different mom than our sisters, but, we are all screwed up. I'm guessing my dad carried the "extremely screwed up" gene. Who knows, mom was far from perfect.
I kind of got carried away, eh? Anyone still with me? My biggest overwhelming issue right now is money. I don't have any. Yet I do have a TON of bills. I am working on some online work that is supposed to be legitimate, I am trying to get the work that is. I can write or talk til the cows come home. Considering I've NEVER had a cow near my property, that's a REALLY long time. Does anyone know of online work? I need money. Bad. I've thought of desperate things like this weird thing I heard of where guys like fat chicks to sit on them..fully clothed and non sexual. I joked about it anyway. Um. euww. I can't imagine! But..I AM desperate! I saw a brinks truck today...it was placed there to taunt me. Now, considering my children fight like cats and dogs, my cats and dogs fight like cats and dogs. My oldest daughter and her girlfriend are also struggling to make ends meet. My mother in law has all her drama and is moving back in. I'm in my final week of a math class I may not pass. I starved myself for almost 2 weeks and MUST continue on a weight loss path but become psycho when starved. School is starting and my kids don't have the things they need/want for school to start. I need to keep bills paid so I can have electricity, water, etc. and pay things so hubby keeps his job. (must not let anything go over 30 days). My dogs need hair cuts. My animals need to see the vet. Many things have broken around here lately. My family is nuts. hubby's family is nuts. I am nuts. Considering all of those things, it was tempting to just leap onto the brinks truck and fight my way to the money. Yes, I would not have been able to leap. Yes, they had openly displayed weaponry. So, the thought was only a passing one.
So, I am just ranting. Carrying on. I am going to get healthier. I've been working on getting organized, etc every day. I just have a lot of things going on. Oh God help me. My youngest child just asked me a very traumatizing question. I need therapy. My last therapist jumped out the window. She muttered something about needing fresh air.
K...well...thanks for reading!
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Day #9
Hi! I am on day number 9 of my juice fast. This has been quite the ride! I swear, the past week has been worse than usual in multiple ways. Not just because I am irritable, etc. It really just has. On Tuesday it was day 8. I weighed in at the doctor's office (as well as my home scale) and it was official. I had been there exactly one week prior and weighed in at the doctor's office. I made the nurse, the same nurse I always have, look at the scale this week. She gasped. I was down 27 pounds. In. one. week. I don't even know what to think of that. I am thrilled and can feel all kinds of changes. I can see them too. After the doctor's visit I went into "work" (it's a joke to even call it that now) and everyone there was surprised also. A few people I am closer to said they can definitely see a difference. I was dressed completely different than I normally do and had my hair down and makeup on, so, that alone threw them off. My normal clothes are already swallowing me.
Today was ROUGH. Very rough. OMG was it rough. Our washer broke, only one of many things to have broken recently. So, today I made the trek to my neighborhood laundry mat with my 14 year old along to help. We had TONS of laundry. I must admit, since I was going there and they have the big front loaders, I brought along comforters I probably wouldn't have washed just yet otherwise. It took 4 hours. Much of that was spent standing. But, we came home with 12 loads of laundry clean! lol. The laundry had been piling up because the washer was not working properly and it was a pain. It would take half the day for one load. Then it was just done. It broke for good. I had a wet load to prove it. So, the guy came out to fix it (home warranty plans are the best thing ever!) and now we are waiting on a bunch of parts. So, last night I had the kids gather up their laundry, I gathered up mine. We put it all together and I divided it by loads so I wouldn't have to do it today. So, I was smart enough to drink juice before we left today. But, while we were there I was miserable because it was hot and I kept thinking about the gyro place two doors down from the laundry mat. So, I got home and long story short, it wasn't a good day once I got home either. I finally was able to get a nap, a long one. I only got up because I hadn't seen my son since I brought him to his "camp' at the school this morning. I've been running around getting things on my to do list done all night. I am doing better tonight. I am hungry right now, but, I'm also pretty much out of things to juice. I am going to the store tomorrow. I was seriously thinking about making a healthy all fruit smoothie before I head out tomorrow. Of course, since I've had only juice I prepare myself, I am not sure if it will make me sick or not. I do not know yet how many days I'll do the reboot. (That's what this juice fast is). I would really like to do it for the full 60 days, yet there's the part of me that wants the smoothie and wants brussel sprouts. Yes, that is what I am craving. Not to say I don't salivate like all of Pavlov's dogs at a pig roast every time I have to prepare the family food. I do. Things I don't usually care for smell good to me now. Hubby was eating a hamburger the other day and I could smell every single thing that was on the burger. This is for my health. I am feeling a lot better in SO many ways. When I go to sleep and wake up in the morning it will be day 10. The 10th day of not consuming any foods. Wow! A good friend started doing this before me and is on day 22 tomorrow. She's feeling wonderful. In fact, she is making some juices for me to sample at her house tomorrow. I am looking forward to it! She and I had a date to walk last night but she fell an hour before we were supposed to go. Thank God she didn't hurt herself. Just some bruising, nothing broken and her bad back is ok. I am hoping that tomorrow will be a good day. One can hope! I desperately need a miracle with finances. I keep praying and hoping for one. That's a huge stressor for me. My mother-in-law, that's a whole other story. I don't remember what I last blogged about regarding her. There are just too many icky things going on. But, I am getting healthier. Trying to get better blood sugar readings. I've had several good readings the past week, I'm thrilled with those! But, I am frustrated that my morning readings are around 155. I do not get that at all. But, I am working on it. Sometimes it's one second at a time, not even one minute at a time.
Just wanted to post. I've had major ups and major downs all week. I'm on a roller coaster for sure! But, I am (hopefully) headed in the right direction!
Oh! Check out www.jointhereboot.com or fat, sick, and nearly dead for more information about what I'm doing. I saw the movie on netflix instant watch.
Thanks
Ms X
Today was ROUGH. Very rough. OMG was it rough. Our washer broke, only one of many things to have broken recently. So, today I made the trek to my neighborhood laundry mat with my 14 year old along to help. We had TONS of laundry. I must admit, since I was going there and they have the big front loaders, I brought along comforters I probably wouldn't have washed just yet otherwise. It took 4 hours. Much of that was spent standing. But, we came home with 12 loads of laundry clean! lol. The laundry had been piling up because the washer was not working properly and it was a pain. It would take half the day for one load. Then it was just done. It broke for good. I had a wet load to prove it. So, the guy came out to fix it (home warranty plans are the best thing ever!) and now we are waiting on a bunch of parts. So, last night I had the kids gather up their laundry, I gathered up mine. We put it all together and I divided it by loads so I wouldn't have to do it today. So, I was smart enough to drink juice before we left today. But, while we were there I was miserable because it was hot and I kept thinking about the gyro place two doors down from the laundry mat. So, I got home and long story short, it wasn't a good day once I got home either. I finally was able to get a nap, a long one. I only got up because I hadn't seen my son since I brought him to his "camp' at the school this morning. I've been running around getting things on my to do list done all night. I am doing better tonight. I am hungry right now, but, I'm also pretty much out of things to juice. I am going to the store tomorrow. I was seriously thinking about making a healthy all fruit smoothie before I head out tomorrow. Of course, since I've had only juice I prepare myself, I am not sure if it will make me sick or not. I do not know yet how many days I'll do the reboot. (That's what this juice fast is). I would really like to do it for the full 60 days, yet there's the part of me that wants the smoothie and wants brussel sprouts. Yes, that is what I am craving. Not to say I don't salivate like all of Pavlov's dogs at a pig roast every time I have to prepare the family food. I do. Things I don't usually care for smell good to me now. Hubby was eating a hamburger the other day and I could smell every single thing that was on the burger. This is for my health. I am feeling a lot better in SO many ways. When I go to sleep and wake up in the morning it will be day 10. The 10th day of not consuming any foods. Wow! A good friend started doing this before me and is on day 22 tomorrow. She's feeling wonderful. In fact, she is making some juices for me to sample at her house tomorrow. I am looking forward to it! She and I had a date to walk last night but she fell an hour before we were supposed to go. Thank God she didn't hurt herself. Just some bruising, nothing broken and her bad back is ok. I am hoping that tomorrow will be a good day. One can hope! I desperately need a miracle with finances. I keep praying and hoping for one. That's a huge stressor for me. My mother-in-law, that's a whole other story. I don't remember what I last blogged about regarding her. There are just too many icky things going on. But, I am getting healthier. Trying to get better blood sugar readings. I've had several good readings the past week, I'm thrilled with those! But, I am frustrated that my morning readings are around 155. I do not get that at all. But, I am working on it. Sometimes it's one second at a time, not even one minute at a time.
Just wanted to post. I've had major ups and major downs all week. I'm on a roller coaster for sure! But, I am (hopefully) headed in the right direction!
Oh! Check out www.jointhereboot.com or fat, sick, and nearly dead for more information about what I'm doing. I saw the movie on netflix instant watch.
Thanks
Ms X
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Still juicing!
Hi! I'll be glad when today is over. I have had a rough week, unrelated to the juicing. Not to say that the juicing is easy, it is not. In fact, it downright sucks at times! But, I am ok. I am feeling pretty decent. I have noticed many changes. I was down 19 pounds this morning. Today is day 6. I canNOT complain about that!! I wore jeans yesterday, I noticed my ring that was VERY tight spinning around today. The changes I've already noticed are beyond amazing! I'm pretty ticked off that my left knee is still hurting a lot. I don't even know where that came from! But, the back is better. Today has sucked, a lot. But, tomorrow is a new day, and a new week. I am looking forward to going to sleep, that is for sure! I got my broken cpap machine replaced today, I love my cpap guy! My washer is broken. Laptop is still broken..no resurrection yet. Lawn mower..still broken. carpet shampooer..broken. Sadly, I am forgetting some things. lol. It's ok, life goes on either way. Did I already mention that my MIL ran away? I think I did. So, if I did, I also mentioned that she's coming back. That makes me sad. The past couple of days of not having her here have been nice. Ok, well, I am feeling really hungry so I'd better just go to bed and try to forget about it. lol. I am juicing in the morning and it will NOT include red pepper...GAG. I forced myself to drink ALL of the juice with red pepper in it. I am so glad THAT is gone!!!
Ms X
Ms X
Friday, August 5, 2011
Reports....
Hi! I know, lame title, right? Well, about 24 hours ago I was up in the middle of the night, just as I am now. I was writing my butt off on here. I was talking about profound thoughts I had, things I'd learned, what's been going on, etc. I even had a few parts that were actually humorous! Then I hit publish. That is when it all went away. It made me sad. Ok. So...on to now.
I am not planning on going into a lot of detail this time. Just reporting. With doctor's consent and lots of blood work, Tuesday I started a juice fast. I was fascinated with "fat,sick, and nearly dead" when I saw it on instant watch on netflix a few weeks ago. In it, the men do a 60 day juice fast. They were both in bad health and were desperate for a change. They had a lot of success. So, a few days after I watched the movie, a friend started her fast. She's on day 18 and feels great. The only thing I can say is that I'm drinking the minimum juice and need to kick it up some, I don't need to be stupid and starve myself. I've learned and noticed TONS of things but now isn't the time to write them here. When I weighed myself this time last night I was down either 12 or 15 lbs, depending on whether the doctors scale matches ours or not. Either way, I am finishing day 4 now. So, for day 3, those numbers aren't bad! My back is feeling LOTS better already. My leg, still hurting. But, enough of that for now! There will be plenty more to report. I am going to the farmer's market tomorrow. I'll round up the remains of my spinach, apples, etc in the morning so I can juice before I go.
Mother in law ran away today. She and hubby got into a fight, she was completely in the wrong and was totally acting like a child. She even threatened to smack him in his face. Really? Basically, she lied, I witnessed it, and when he said "mom, you just lied" she freaked out. It was ugly and my blood pressure went sky high. So, she yelled "I hate living here" (oh, the irony in that statement) and he said "then leave". She slammed her door (I HATE that..how old is she?) then, an hour later her son came to get her (the other son) and she packed a bunch of stuff, including a bunch of stuff from the kitchen, and her dog and left. Hubby told her that he could have helped her, he wasn't mad at her, etc. She wouldn't speak to him. 45 minutes later she asked if she could come back. Man..for 45 minutes I was SO excited. But, she told him she'd be back in a few days.
My beloved laptop just up and died the other day. No reason, no warning. My c-pap machine died tonight. Well, it's not "dead" yet, but it is possessed. My son had knocked it over earlier and the water from the humidifier must have gotten into the machine. Thank God I have a backup cpap, it doesn't work right but it will hopefully do for now. I've already emailed my wonderful cpap man. My laptop, I'm hoping it makes a miraculous healing like my old one. I am on the old one now. The poor little thing looks so sad and lonely. I want them BOTH to work!
Finances suck since I'm basically unemployed right now, and unemployable. I told hubby I would just go get a job anywhere and he pointed out that I am having trouble just walking around. Good point. Plus they don't want someone who looks as I do. So, yeah, we need a miracle with finances. We've had a miracle every month, so, God can do all things!
In spite of the reports of this week, I am doing ok. I am trying to focus on bettering my health regardless of the circumstances. I am learning a lot. I would love to be able to do the fast for the 60 days, then the proper transition, then my own smart eating after that. I have to do this. I am feeling good though. I now understand that it will pass. My cravings, my feelings, etc. When I am cooking for the family and want so badly to eat their food, it passes. It's not worth it to ruin my fast. But, it's 3 am and I have a farmers market to go to in a few hours.
Oh! one more thing! My weight is down and my sugar has been down below 125 3 times this week! Amazing! Miracle! Woot Woot! lol
Ms X
I am not planning on going into a lot of detail this time. Just reporting. With doctor's consent and lots of blood work, Tuesday I started a juice fast. I was fascinated with "fat,sick, and nearly dead" when I saw it on instant watch on netflix a few weeks ago. In it, the men do a 60 day juice fast. They were both in bad health and were desperate for a change. They had a lot of success. So, a few days after I watched the movie, a friend started her fast. She's on day 18 and feels great. The only thing I can say is that I'm drinking the minimum juice and need to kick it up some, I don't need to be stupid and starve myself. I've learned and noticed TONS of things but now isn't the time to write them here. When I weighed myself this time last night I was down either 12 or 15 lbs, depending on whether the doctors scale matches ours or not. Either way, I am finishing day 4 now. So, for day 3, those numbers aren't bad! My back is feeling LOTS better already. My leg, still hurting. But, enough of that for now! There will be plenty more to report. I am going to the farmer's market tomorrow. I'll round up the remains of my spinach, apples, etc in the morning so I can juice before I go.
Mother in law ran away today. She and hubby got into a fight, she was completely in the wrong and was totally acting like a child. She even threatened to smack him in his face. Really? Basically, she lied, I witnessed it, and when he said "mom, you just lied" she freaked out. It was ugly and my blood pressure went sky high. So, she yelled "I hate living here" (oh, the irony in that statement) and he said "then leave". She slammed her door (I HATE that..how old is she?) then, an hour later her son came to get her (the other son) and she packed a bunch of stuff, including a bunch of stuff from the kitchen, and her dog and left. Hubby told her that he could have helped her, he wasn't mad at her, etc. She wouldn't speak to him. 45 minutes later she asked if she could come back. Man..for 45 minutes I was SO excited. But, she told him she'd be back in a few days.
My beloved laptop just up and died the other day. No reason, no warning. My c-pap machine died tonight. Well, it's not "dead" yet, but it is possessed. My son had knocked it over earlier and the water from the humidifier must have gotten into the machine. Thank God I have a backup cpap, it doesn't work right but it will hopefully do for now. I've already emailed my wonderful cpap man. My laptop, I'm hoping it makes a miraculous healing like my old one. I am on the old one now. The poor little thing looks so sad and lonely. I want them BOTH to work!
Finances suck since I'm basically unemployed right now, and unemployable. I told hubby I would just go get a job anywhere and he pointed out that I am having trouble just walking around. Good point. Plus they don't want someone who looks as I do. So, yeah, we need a miracle with finances. We've had a miracle every month, so, God can do all things!
In spite of the reports of this week, I am doing ok. I am trying to focus on bettering my health regardless of the circumstances. I am learning a lot. I would love to be able to do the fast for the 60 days, then the proper transition, then my own smart eating after that. I have to do this. I am feeling good though. I now understand that it will pass. My cravings, my feelings, etc. When I am cooking for the family and want so badly to eat their food, it passes. It's not worth it to ruin my fast. But, it's 3 am and I have a farmers market to go to in a few hours.
Oh! one more thing! My weight is down and my sugar has been down below 125 3 times this week! Amazing! Miracle! Woot Woot! lol
Ms X
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Mother in law is driving me mad
You know, I know a lot of people complain about their mother-in-law, I get that. However, I really do think my situation is unique. I swear it is! Let me give some examples.
A little while ago she was doing the loud obnoxious throat clearing hocker spitting thing into my kitchen trash. My. Kitchen. trash. Ok? For the record, the woman does that fairly often in various locations where she can spit. Oh. MY. GOD. Sorry to be gross. So, shortly after that I was coughing really hard. Because I had said "ooh gross" to her display of nastiness, she decided to say "ooh gross" to me. Really? Is it even the same thing??? No. No it is not.
Example number 2. Speaking of nasty. I have had to tell her on mutliple occasions to bathe. Yes, bathe. The thing normal people do at least once a day? She goes for weeks. Weeks. One day I finally broke down and told her she needed to bathe. She didn't. The next day she spent all day tearing her room apart (yes, she lives with us) only to find that the smell she was trying to find in her room was her. Disgusting. Sadly, I have had to tell her since then to bathe too. She has also had robes she wears over and over and hangs on the bathroom door that made me gag. I'm sorry, there is just no exuse at all for nastiness.
Example number 3. She's trying to go to school. She is not even a little bit bright. I'm not trying to be mean, I'm not, but the woman is very ...not smart. So, she is all about going to school. She tries to do EVERYTHING my husband, her son, does. He and I have been going to school for quite some time. Naturally, she has to go too. So, she tried to go online and within a few days she quit and was starting over this month. Within two days she couldn't do it online so she had to go to campus to do it. So, yesterday she was gone all day and night going to school on campus. She has to go back tomorrow and will be taking a placement test. The whole thing is such. a. joke.
Example number 4. One day she said that God was going to buy her the house next door. This is only an example of the things she says all the time. She picks and chooses scriptures and other things out of the Bible and makes them what she wants them to be. Let's just ignore scriptures that say "a lazy man will not eat" and go on to the ones that say "God will provide all your needs". All righty then. This was actually a long drawn out thing on the day she said God would buy her the house. It is way more in depth than I'm saying, but was extremely ridiculous.
Example number 5. Food. Since the food issue is such a long in depth one with her, I will only give 5 examples. She has always lied about food, though she "doesn't lie". She will sneak food, hoard food, you name it. She will eat something, then go "oh, you bought (name item here) can I have some?" Even though she already helped herself to some before asking, and now wants more. If someone makes something sweet she gets all excited, reacts like a child, and goes "num num num" and all kins of other noises. She has HUGE portions of EVERYTHING. She also adds to EVERYTHING no matter what it is and whether or not she's even had a taste of it. I have even told her that it's insulting to the cook (me). She herself cannot cook or bake. There are very few things she's made through the years that anyone has liked. She has rarely cooked since she's been here, and I'm ok with that. She recently went on a special "fast" and could only eat certain foods. I tried to tell her that she was nuking it and according to her fast just needed to eat fruits and vegetables and didn't need to go out and buy tons of special stuff. So, after talking to her and she was all gung ho over it, (which never lasts) I went and got a bunch of fresh fruits and veggies she'd mentioned. I got all the groceries with several things she'd asked for. I come home, cook dinner and she makes herself a salad. I find out later that she ate dinner too that night. The next day she ate what I cooked again (when I was out of the room). So, the next day I asked why she wasn't doing her fast and she made some excuse about it. So, then she was doing her fast for about a week. If she was sneaking anything, nobody saw her do it. Then she came home with chips and ramen noodles and said that God told her she can have those on her fast. um. ok. Long story short, she went off the fast officially because God told her to. So, I got chinese food for my husband and son and got her some too. As usual she didn't thank me, God forbid. As usual she complained. She said that she only eats fried rice because it's healthier than white rice. Um. what? I said "the yellow rice is white rice with a bunch of crap thrown in and then it's FRIED" She said, no, it's corn. (??) So, I looked up a bunch of white rice recipes that night and told her my findings. She said "I always thought it was healthier and was something else because it's yellow". I said "Why do you state so many things as fact when you've never done any research on them?" But, it's pointless. She forgets everything from one minute to the next. The sad thing is...I could go on with different things she does for HOURS. I am going insane.
Thanks for letting me vent a little
Ms X
A little while ago she was doing the loud obnoxious throat clearing hocker spitting thing into my kitchen trash. My. Kitchen. trash. Ok? For the record, the woman does that fairly often in various locations where she can spit. Oh. MY. GOD. Sorry to be gross. So, shortly after that I was coughing really hard. Because I had said "ooh gross" to her display of nastiness, she decided to say "ooh gross" to me. Really? Is it even the same thing??? No. No it is not.
Example number 2. Speaking of nasty. I have had to tell her on mutliple occasions to bathe. Yes, bathe. The thing normal people do at least once a day? She goes for weeks. Weeks. One day I finally broke down and told her she needed to bathe. She didn't. The next day she spent all day tearing her room apart (yes, she lives with us) only to find that the smell she was trying to find in her room was her. Disgusting. Sadly, I have had to tell her since then to bathe too. She has also had robes she wears over and over and hangs on the bathroom door that made me gag. I'm sorry, there is just no exuse at all for nastiness.
Example number 3. She's trying to go to school. She is not even a little bit bright. I'm not trying to be mean, I'm not, but the woman is very ...not smart. So, she is all about going to school. She tries to do EVERYTHING my husband, her son, does. He and I have been going to school for quite some time. Naturally, she has to go too. So, she tried to go online and within a few days she quit and was starting over this month. Within two days she couldn't do it online so she had to go to campus to do it. So, yesterday she was gone all day and night going to school on campus. She has to go back tomorrow and will be taking a placement test. The whole thing is such. a. joke.
Example number 4. One day she said that God was going to buy her the house next door. This is only an example of the things she says all the time. She picks and chooses scriptures and other things out of the Bible and makes them what she wants them to be. Let's just ignore scriptures that say "a lazy man will not eat" and go on to the ones that say "God will provide all your needs". All righty then. This was actually a long drawn out thing on the day she said God would buy her the house. It is way more in depth than I'm saying, but was extremely ridiculous.
Example number 5. Food. Since the food issue is such a long in depth one with her, I will only give 5 examples. She has always lied about food, though she "doesn't lie". She will sneak food, hoard food, you name it. She will eat something, then go "oh, you bought (name item here) can I have some?" Even though she already helped herself to some before asking, and now wants more. If someone makes something sweet she gets all excited, reacts like a child, and goes "num num num" and all kins of other noises. She has HUGE portions of EVERYTHING. She also adds to EVERYTHING no matter what it is and whether or not she's even had a taste of it. I have even told her that it's insulting to the cook (me). She herself cannot cook or bake. There are very few things she's made through the years that anyone has liked. She has rarely cooked since she's been here, and I'm ok with that. She recently went on a special "fast" and could only eat certain foods. I tried to tell her that she was nuking it and according to her fast just needed to eat fruits and vegetables and didn't need to go out and buy tons of special stuff. So, after talking to her and she was all gung ho over it, (which never lasts) I went and got a bunch of fresh fruits and veggies she'd mentioned. I got all the groceries with several things she'd asked for. I come home, cook dinner and she makes herself a salad. I find out later that she ate dinner too that night. The next day she ate what I cooked again (when I was out of the room). So, the next day I asked why she wasn't doing her fast and she made some excuse about it. So, then she was doing her fast for about a week. If she was sneaking anything, nobody saw her do it. Then she came home with chips and ramen noodles and said that God told her she can have those on her fast. um. ok. Long story short, she went off the fast officially because God told her to. So, I got chinese food for my husband and son and got her some too. As usual she didn't thank me, God forbid. As usual she complained. She said that she only eats fried rice because it's healthier than white rice. Um. what? I said "the yellow rice is white rice with a bunch of crap thrown in and then it's FRIED" She said, no, it's corn. (??) So, I looked up a bunch of white rice recipes that night and told her my findings. She said "I always thought it was healthier and was something else because it's yellow". I said "Why do you state so many things as fact when you've never done any research on them?" But, it's pointless. She forgets everything from one minute to the next. The sad thing is...I could go on with different things she does for HOURS. I am going insane.
Thanks for letting me vent a little
Ms X
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
What is that??
Hello! I was sitting here minding my own business on the computer and kept feeling a hair moving around on my face. There were a few other times today I had felt it. I kept trying to move the hair and finally determined that the hair was growing OUT of my face. I immediately became determined to get the hair out of my face as quickly as possible. Of course, when there is a facial hair emergency...the tweezers run and hide. Once I had the tweezers I pulled out the 1/2" long hair and was even more disturbed to see that half of it was white. So, not only did I somehow manage to have a long hair growing out of my face that blew in the wind...I'm so old that it was part white! Now, my question is this, HOW did I miss the hair before? How is it that I get waxed, I pluck, I stare at my face...yet I will suddenly notice a long hair blowing in the wind? I had another spot on my face that every once in a while I'd have a flowing long hair coming out of it. Somehow, that hair would be even longer. I am so disturbed right now. How does this happen?? I had the same face yesterday..and the day before...I look at it, I wash it. It really is a mystery. On that note...I always had very thick hair on my head that grew like a weed. Ok....fine...I had/have hair in other places that grows a lot too. Like my face. Anyway...I pull out hair in clumps...daily. I am really beginning to freak out over this. My hair is no longer thick like it used to be. I have a lot of hair, and it's long. (though I would prefer to have a "butch" haircut) but it is much thinner than it used to be, much. It's kinda freaking me out...I thought about getting that shampoo that makes your hair grow in thicker but when I wash my hair it would just go down my back and make me have flowing thick back and butt hair. sigh.
I just wanted to share. :)
Ms X
I just wanted to share. :)
Ms X
Friday, July 15, 2011
It's been a while!
It's been a while! I've been contemplating getting rid of this blog completely. Then, I've also considered re-vamping it. My posts have been very gloomy and doomy and I'm not a gloomy doomy person. So. I'm still not sure what I'm doing! As for weight loss and health issues, those will be topics of interest to me for a VERY long time. They'll always be a topic, health is important. Even when I am eventually being hailed as a goddess on a tropical island, I will still be concerned about health. However, there is a lot more that I think about than that. I love my family, they are actually first in my life. I have a lot of people that are very important to me. I know that GOD should be first, and hasn't been. That's a whole other subject. I still love books. I graduate in December (if all goes well!) with my bachelor's in Psychology. I will be spending the next few months doing lots of math, statistics, etc. I have an interest in a lot of things such as gardening, crafts, etc. Not that I am currently doing any of those things. I LOVE cooking and baking. That includes healthy cooking and baking. I am interested in Raw stuff. I am interested in juicing. I am very well rounded in my cooking/baking interests. I follow a lot of blogs and have made many successful recipes from several of the blogs I follow.
What's been going on? I've been sick off and on. Hubby has been sick off and on and had a minor surgery. My oldest daughter's friend wrecked her car, so, she is without one again. Now my daughter doesn't live very close to us and doesn't have a car either. My younger two have become house hermits during the summer. They run screaming from sunlight. Ok, they're not that bad. At least the girl child isn't. My mother-in-law. How often have I mentioned her? She lives here. I could write a book about it. There just aren't enough words to describe the experience that is my mother-in-law. Work? Haven't done much of that this summer. I wanted the summer off to enjoy summer and enjoy my children. Also to get projects done. Wow..running out of time on all of that, aren't I? My weight has gone up and down 20 pounds for a while now. It's at the lower end but I am ready to go below that! I haven't been lower than where I am now in a LONG time.
Anyway!! Blah blah blah, right? I love all the witty funny blogs with lots of pictures and funny stories. I'm "anonymous" and a few people I know have access, nobody else that knows me does. So, I managed to make things complicated for my blog, huh? I initially was going to write what I was thinking and feeling but that isn't always the case anyway. It's not completely anonymous. I've been thinking of doing a different blog, one that I can let anyone see. But, what are the odds of THIS..two of my sisters have separately asked my opinion on what THEY should do for a blog this week. But of course! So, if I do do a blog that I share with people I know...the timing really sucks for that too. So, I could re-vamp this one and make it more fun, etc. I could check in every now and then and update, or, I could make another one completely. I know I have a few faithful followers, and I thank those of you who are, it means a lot to me! I'd love to know what everyone thinks. So, what does everyone think?
Thanks!
Ms X
What's been going on? I've been sick off and on. Hubby has been sick off and on and had a minor surgery. My oldest daughter's friend wrecked her car, so, she is without one again. Now my daughter doesn't live very close to us and doesn't have a car either. My younger two have become house hermits during the summer. They run screaming from sunlight. Ok, they're not that bad. At least the girl child isn't. My mother-in-law. How often have I mentioned her? She lives here. I could write a book about it. There just aren't enough words to describe the experience that is my mother-in-law. Work? Haven't done much of that this summer. I wanted the summer off to enjoy summer and enjoy my children. Also to get projects done. Wow..running out of time on all of that, aren't I? My weight has gone up and down 20 pounds for a while now. It's at the lower end but I am ready to go below that! I haven't been lower than where I am now in a LONG time.
Anyway!! Blah blah blah, right? I love all the witty funny blogs with lots of pictures and funny stories. I'm "anonymous" and a few people I know have access, nobody else that knows me does. So, I managed to make things complicated for my blog, huh? I initially was going to write what I was thinking and feeling but that isn't always the case anyway. It's not completely anonymous. I've been thinking of doing a different blog, one that I can let anyone see. But, what are the odds of THIS..two of my sisters have separately asked my opinion on what THEY should do for a blog this week. But of course! So, if I do do a blog that I share with people I know...the timing really sucks for that too. So, I could re-vamp this one and make it more fun, etc. I could check in every now and then and update, or, I could make another one completely. I know I have a few faithful followers, and I thank those of you who are, it means a lot to me! I'd love to know what everyone thinks. So, what does everyone think?
Thanks!
Ms X
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